My Mother's Day

Miles already wrote a very sweet Mother's Day post and tribute to our mom's and me (I have the greatest and most thoughtful husband). I don't want to take away from that, but this being my first Mother's Day I wanted to write down a few feelings I had about being a mom to my sweet little man and on motherhood in general.

I can't even begin to tell you how I feel about being a mom. It's overwhelming, humbling, full of joy and excitement. I feel overwhelmed with feelings of love and a new level of spiritual awareness. I feel humbled to have such a perfect, innocent child of God in my arms on a daily basis. When I was in high school I used to think of Motherhood as something that would tie me down, keep me from all the things that seemed so important in my life; that children would keep me from my dreams. I was never one of those girls that when asked what they want to do with their lives responded with "All I want is to be a mom." It always seemed like something low to aim for; something that would inevitably happen and take over the things I enjoyed in life, like a career, traveling, and making lots of money. I'm not saying that those things are bad or that you shouldn't want them, because they are actually really great things. I am simply discounting my previous inaccurate teenage view of Motherhood. I have come to realize something while looking at Caiden as he sleeps in my arms, soundly, making lots of little Caiden sleep noises: being a mom is so meaningful, so humbling and everlasting. Caiden is my dream, I just didn't realize it until I felt him move the first time, until I saw him wiggle around on that ultrasound monitor, and until he was placed in my arms and every moment since then. I would never trade this experience for things that now seem so inferior. Money, prestige, the approval of the outside world could never compare to this. This perfect little piece of heaven that I have the privilege of raising, him and Miles; this is what life is all about.